“I don't know what to say”
“I feel terrible”
“I’m so sorry to hear about baby William”
“There are no words”
“How is today going?” - a good alternative to “how are you”
“I thought of William today”
“Do you have a picture of William?” - We wish more people would ask. We’d love to show you William and will always have his photo on our phones or in our wallet, just like any other new parent.
“What was he like?”
Small gestures like a gentle smile when we walk into the room or giving a quick hug or pat on the back can speak volumes.
William is on our minds all the time - using his name in conversation will always light us up. When friends and family do not mention him, it can feel like they have forgotten.
People may think “I don’t want to make them cry” or “I don’t want to remind them” but our tears bring us closer to him, and we never want to forget. Sometimes you may be surprised at the depth of our feelings and wonder how long we will grieve. William was our pride and joy, a bond formed far before he was born, and we need to allow ourselves time to remember and honor our precious baby. For us, grieving isn't about moving on but instead about integrating and finding meaning with this new life.
Thank you for thinking of us. It is nice to know that the memory of William crosses your mind.
On January 8, 2015 my daughter and son in law became parents to my first grandchild, a beautiful little boy they named Dakota. I was there to be with him as he entered this world. My precious baby boy, my Grandson! We had such hopes and dreams for him and plans for our lives but they were not to be. Our beautiful Dakota only lived for 23 minutes before God called him home. Our hearts are broken. They ache for our little one. Talking about him hurts and helps if that makes sense. We will never forget him and I don't want others to forget him either. I want him to be remembered and recognized as being my Grandson. Even though he is no longer here with us, I know that someday we will be together again. In the meantime I feel blessed to know that I held a real life Angel in my arms and I touched a living piece of Heaven. Grammy Loves You, Dakota!!
ReplyDeleteJanMarie, I'm so sorry to hear about your precious grandson, Dakota. It's hard for me to find words to make you feel better. All I can say is that I'm grateful that you shared Dakota with us - I don't know you, but I have much love for you and your family. They say when tragedy strikes, you discover rather quickly that you inherit a whole new family of people who share the same tragedy. Keep doing what feels right, talking about my baby helps as well.
ReplyDeleteWishing you peace in your time of sorrow.
hugs,
Liz
Thank-You! I appreciate your kind words.
ReplyDeleteLiz,
ReplyDeleteI really liked this post and I really liked one of the pamphlets that you had at William's memorial service that had similar information and suggestions. It's really helpful to hear this.
Love,
Christine
Love you, Christine. Someone told us that one of the most important things to remember during times like these is to be kind to yourself, be honest, and let people know exactly what you need. We are happy to have family like you :) who cares for us like you do.
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