Grace

      I should be an expert on Grace.    Perhaps not professionally but I am married to an expert on the theology of Grace.  So much of our family's conversations revolve around Grace.  It's my daughter's middle name and my husband's dissertation topic.   Bernard Lonergan, my husbands favorite theologian, describes the experience of Grace as an other-wordly love, a deep set joy, and a radical peace that the world cannot give.  Although I have endured many conversations on this topic, I never truly understood what it was until 12/13/14.
       Nothing can prepare you for the death of a child.  Nothing can prepare you to watch your sister, whom you love more than anything, lose a child.  I have seen more children pass away than most people....but nothing could prepare me for losing my nephew William.
      I remember all the medicine that surrounded that day.  I know William's Apgar scores were 6 and 8.  I know what his blood gas was and every line that they put in him.....but the thing I remember most was my sister's face when she saw him.  I have seen many moms lose babies, some go hysterical in grief, some get mad, and some become speechless.  However, I have never seen one like my sister.  My sister and my brother in law took my breath away.  They savored every moment they had with their son.  They didn't let anger or the "unfairness" take over.
      Grace happened that day....it was present in the delivery room, the NICU, and the postpartum room where he took his last breath.  When I reflect back upon that day it truly was the hardest day of my life.  Ironically, after my own children's birth and my wedding it was also one of the best days of my life.  I had the privilege of being there for William's entire life.  I was there when he took his first breath and his last.  I watched my sister become a mom, then hours later lose her child.  I don't know how Matt teaches what he does.  He teaches something I couldn't fully understand until I experienced it.  Grace is something that takes over you.  So thank you my sweet William.  Auntie is forever changed by you, for you have taught me the most powerful and beautiful thing of all.

What to say when someone loses a baby

We understand that it is difficult for someone who has never lost a baby to comprehend what we are going through. You may not know what to say and that’s normal. Below are examples of what we think help us to hear and may help others you come across in life who have lost in a similar way to us.

“I don't know what to say”
“I feel terrible”
“I’m so sorry to hear about baby William”
“There are no words”
“How is today going?” -  a good alternative to “how are you”
“I thought of William today”
“Do you have a picture of William?” - We wish more people would ask. We’d love to show you William and will always have his photo on our phones or in our wallet, just like any other new parent.
“What was he like?”

Small gestures like a gentle smile when we walk into the room or giving a quick hug or pat on the back can speak volumes.

William is on our minds all the time - using his name in conversation will always light us up. When friends and family do not mention him, it can feel like they have forgotten.

People may think “I don’t want to make them cry” or “I don’t want to remind them” but our tears bring us closer to him, and we never want to forget. Sometimes you may be surprised at the depth of our feelings and wonder how long we will grieve. William was our pride and joy, a bond formed far before he was born, and we need to allow ourselves time to remember and honor our precious baby. For us, grieving isn't about moving on but instead about integrating and finding meaning with this new life.

Thank you for thinking of us. It is nice to know that the memory of William crosses your mind.

His name

William Patrick. Such a strong name for a strong little boy. We had William’s name picked years ago. William was named after his Daddy (Tom's middle name is William) and his great-great grandfather on his daddy’s side of the family.

William comes from the Germanic origin “Wilhelm” and is made up of: wil = "will or desire" and helm = "helmet, protection". We called him our little warrior because he kept fighting on despite his challenges.

William is also named after his two uncles, Uncle Patrick (Liz’s brother) and Uncle Patrick (Tom’s brother).

William Patrick. We love how the two names complement each other and we were so happy to pick out the perfect name for our son. We choose his name with love and care.

To hear you speak and write his name means the world to us.

Thank you,
Liz and Tom

Jump rope for heart

Hi my name is Noah. I am William's cousin. My school is fundraising for Jump Rope for Heart. Jump Rope for Heart is a fundraising program that raises money for people with heart problems like William. If you would like to donate money please click the link below.


Click here to donate


Happy Valentine's day everyone!

2/9/2015

Today is our due date. We made it through, thanks to the snow and family surrounding us. To tell the truth, it's these past few weeks that have been more difficult than expected. Maybe because he should be here already and the aching feeling in our empty arms reminded us of that. We knew William would never really be born on his due date. As his big heart struggled to keep up the demands, we knew he'd be delivered early. We remember praying each day to make it to tomorrow - we were so proud he made it to 31 weeks 5 days. Our little trooper. Our little star.

Just when we need some strength, our little guy sends it to us in his own special ways. Tiny little starflakes fell from the sky again but this time they landed on me. Before they could melt, Tommy snapped a few photos. I love how snowflakes are becoming a symbol of William. As unique and beautiful as William was, so is a snowflake. Exquisitely breathtaking and one of a kind.

Sharing a photo of his 13 week ultrasound.

xoxo,
Liz and Tom

Early ultrasound of William waving to us

 Starflake in my hair

Starflake on my scarf

William's Memorial Service

William, our little star

A heart so big, a baby so small, you had the strength to touch us all. 

William was born on the morning of Saturday, December 13, 2014 and died peacefully that afternoon in the arms of his parents, Elizabeth and Tom. Throughout his short life, William gave us so much happiness and hope and has since blessed us with gifts of faith and love. William’s life will grace our hearts forever. 

In addition to his parents, William leaves behind to cherish his memory his grandmothers and grandfathers, Leo and Elaine and Theresa and Robert; his godmother Katie and uncle Matt; his cousins, Noah and Madeleine; his uncle Patrick and auntie Nikki; his uncle Patrick; his great grandmother, Margaret; and numerous extended cousins, aunties, and uncles. 

In heaven, William has met his great grandmothers and great grandfathers, Dorothy and James, Pearl, Michael, Millie-Lou and Horace, Frank and Joan. 

Family and friends are welcome to attend a memorial service celebrating William’s life on 

Saturday the 14th of March at Our Lady of Victory Church in Centerville, MA

At 11:00 am

Let this baby be an inspiration to love more, to strengthen your faith, and light up your life. We are the voice of our sweet William and we hope you will come listen to his story. 

Moments in our arms, forever in our hearts